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  1.  

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    Dear Samantha,

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    Who’s David Bowie?

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    Only one of the greatest artists of all time! As much I usually love praise, I might have to just step down a bit from that comparison. It’d feel a bit wrong to consider myself even in the same thought as him!

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    Well, well, well, aren’t you quite the fanboy.

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    You hush Axel, I take my craft seriously. He’s one of my biggest inspirations!

    -Demyx, Axel, and Roxas

  2.  

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    Dear nii,

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    You really want us to go through each and every one of them? There’s kind of a lot of us…

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    No, I got this.

    Luxord, Xigbar, you and your brats: We good.

    Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Marluxia, Xemnas: Meh, not the best conversation partners, but tolerable.

    Saïx, Larxene, and Xaldin: Bad! Very bad! I stay away from them like my life depends upon it!

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    Hey! Th-they’re not brats!

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    Eh?…Well, that’s what Xigbar calls ‘em. Says it just like that too, “Axel’s brats.” 

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    ….Figures he’d be the one saying that. Honestly, I don’t really give our comrades any thought outside missions and work-related stuff. Xion and Roxas might just be the only ones I like here, really…

    -Axel and Demyx

  3.  

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    Dear anon,

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    *enthusiastic deep breath*—

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    Don’t even bother saying it kiddo, we all know it’s sea salt ice-cream.

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    How did you know?!

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    I guess we do spend enough time up on that clock tower that it’s pretty easy to read our modus operandi…

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    Gotta love mint chocolate chip! And I’ll eat any pizza, so long as it’s got a ton of cheese on it!

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    I’ve never had pizza before! Is it good?

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    "Is it good" she says. You totally realize what we have to have for dinner now, right?

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    But Demyx, we’re not allowed to—

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    I accept nothing other than a meat lover’s deep dish.

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    If no one remembers my green peppers, I won’t be happy.

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    Don’t put your icky peppers on my side. I’m fine with the meat thing, so long as there’s pepperoni and spicy sausage on there.

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    I don’t suppose there’s room for some pineapple or anchovies on there, is there?

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    …I can already see how this is going to end.

    -Members II, VI, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV

  4.  

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    Dear moonlightandfeathers,

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    The big boss picked ‘em out when he named us all. Guy’s got a thing for naming things, I guess. Some of them are kinda…lackluster in my opinion. Freeshooter? Why not something more exciting? I mean, at least Luxord got something poetic like “Gambler of Fate” for example.

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    Mine’s kind of weird too. I get the “key” part, but…destiny? Destiny of what? 

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    I….didn’t get a title.

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    Aww, chin up. I’ll always have a special title for you, poppet.

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    ….I thought I told you to stop calling her that.

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    W-why? It’s not mean or anything, is it…?

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    Yeah Axel, is there something wrong with it?

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    ……………

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    I know! You can share my title, Xion! I mean, we both have the same weapon (and we even actually shared them at one point), so it works!

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    Really?! Thanks Roxas! You’re the best!

    -Axel, Roxas, Xion, and Xigbar

  5.  

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    Dear anonymous,

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    Bend? What do you mean bend?

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    Perhaps they are trying to ask which of the elements we would control. Which is a rather redundant question, since many of us already do control various elements….

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    Oh. Well, then what’s this Sailor Moon stuff? What do they mean by scouts?

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    Sailor Moon is a popular children’s show about magical girls who transform and use their super powers to fight monsters. Sometimes a little girl by the name of Kairi would bring over the episodes and we’d put it on for her and  Zexion on his more subdued days before he became a Nobody—which is saying a lot, considering he was a quiet youth to begin with.

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    The show certainly had it’s repetitive moments, but I always found the basic premise of the show something of a puzzle, or a conundrum to be solved. Why did these girls feel it was their duty to go out of their way and help people? What was the point of their suffering—or rather, why did they have to suffer so much? Why was the fate of the universe put on their shoulders, again, and again, and again?

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    Geeze, even as a kid you lived waaaay too deep inside your own head. But fine, so answer the question. Which scout was your favorite? I bet it was a brainy one, just like you.

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    Well, there was one known for her smarts yes, and I did rather like her, but to be honest…Hotaru was the most intriguing one for me. She was a child, caught up in the schemes of the adults around her, forced to grow up and become an object to further the goals of those who were supposed to be her caretakers. For some reason I…found myself highly interested in her character arc.

    -Demyx, Lexeaus, Axel, and Zexion

  6.  

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    Dear Dexilan,

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    This sort of already happened. I have never seen grown men get so upset over Chutes and Ladders.

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    Well, some people were cheating.

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    It’s called creative strategy.

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    I believe the rules state that you’re not allowed to create your own ladders.

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    Not so fast, kiddie-pie. Need I remind you of the CandyLand incident?

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    That was merely because I had munny staked on that game. 

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    That doesn’t mean you’re allowed to change the faces of cards to your advantage.

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    See this is why we in the organization tend to not socialize.

    -Members II, VI, VIII, and XI

  7.  

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    Dear anon,

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    Well since I’m pretty unforgettable, how about you just start with my lovely face? Got it memorized?

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    Or, you know, getting a day planner might help too.

    -Axel

  8.  

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    Dear redsugarlumpdeluxe,

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    They do, in fact. Marluxia for example has a rather sweet scent, but there is something else laced in it—something sharp that arouses one’s primal instincts for survival. Lexaeus on the other hand embodies a very solid, earthy scent, strong but subtle. Going through every member would be tedious, but I suppose I wouldn’t mind describing a few more for those who were interested.

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    I’m pretty curious—gotta admit that it’s crossed my mind a couple of times.

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    Your scent has an almost physical texture about it. To tell you the truth, it invokes a sort of warmth and dryness, hot like cinnamon, or full like nutmeg.

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    You describe it so beautifully Zexion. I’m intrigued as to what you might reveal about me.

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    …….like aged parchment….and lemons.

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    Ah, refined…with an unpredicted hint of mystery. A satisfying answer.

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    Oh, oh, me next, do me next!!

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    You have a very distinct and loud scent, Demyx.

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    …..hold on, are you saying I stink?!

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    I said loud, not unpleasant—rather, it’s a very bright and lively scent. 

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    Oh. Well, that’s cool I guess. Say, so what do you smell like, Zexy?

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    That’s a ridiculous notion, Demyx. Why on earth would I go about smelling myself…?

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    Eh, it was probably something stuffy anyway, like books and secrets.

    -Memebers VI, VIII, IX, and X

  9.  

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    Dear anon,

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    I don’t sing.

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    I hear you’re a pretty good dancer though. 

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    *cough* Uh, let’s not mention that right now. Besides, don’t wanna steal the spotlight from Xion here.

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    Don’t worry, I’m gonna give it my best! Hope you all like it!

    -Axel, Roxas, and Xion

    (previous letter)

  10.  

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    Dear anon,

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    Where do we get these things? 

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    I’d always assumed they were magicked together from the ethereal tresses of the darkness or something dumb like that.

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    I think you’d have to ask the moogle.

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    …Kupo!

    -Members VIII, IX, X, and M

  11.  

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    Dear anon,

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    knew there was something fishy about that mission to Agrabah. 

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    You mean, we weren’t supposed to go undercover as male dancers in the marketplace?

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    I was wiping the lipstick off me for hours after that one…..

    -Axel and Roxas

    (previous letter)

  12.  

    Dear anon,

    Eat ice-cream, mostly.

    -Axel

  13.  

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    Dear anon,

    Ah fear not, anon, easy to explain.

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    "Melodious." As in the sitar.

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    And “Nocturne” because I sleep a lot.

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    Demyx I don’t think that’s why “nocturne—”

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    My skills with a scythe are as smooth as that of an assassin’s and graceful as the rose. This is why I am known as a “Graceful Assassin.” 

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    Yeah, and Saïx gets his title from his creepy preoccupation with the moon.

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    I resent your phrasing, IX, perhaps I should— 

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    Aaaand of course there’s Axel.

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    Me?

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    Do I really need to explain mine?

    -Members VII, VIII, IX, and XI

  14.  

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    Dear sirashikune,

    At least someone appreciates me.

    They did say they wanted to meet us too, Larxene.

    Hey, don’t drag me into this.

    Tch. Whatever.

    - Members VIII, XII, and XIII

  15.  

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    Dear anon,

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    I would wonder why I didn’t know about it.

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    I would wonder if he was paying child support.

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    I would wonder how VII even managed to attract the romantic attention of a female in the first place.

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    ……

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    Ummm……

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    ………Did I say that out loud?

    -Members VI, VIII, and IX